Monday, February 27, 2006
Everything differs..
The closest seems to be the furthest..
Though the visible line seems to be invisible..
Topics lessen..
The simplest words seems to be hardest to say..
Without clarity, relationship is filled with mist..
But human are just weird creatures..
They only know how to express the feelings in words than actions..
Why must they keep things to themselves..
I question..
But I certainly know that sometimes it is best to keep it than to share it..
Because reality may hurt..
Hope that nothing goes wrong with the immersion trip..
Everyone is looking forward to it..
But..
I will definitely miss my sisters..
hidden secret star
2/27/2006 10:29:00 PM
Monday, February 20, 2006
Counting down..
6th of March..
Depart and fly..
One week off all my thoughts..
And finally can go breath some fresh air..
Have fun..
Breakaway..
Relying a lot on notebooks and reminders..
[Though it does not help totally]
I can forget things in split seconds..
This is how bad my memory is now..
[Long plus short term memory loss]
But how amazing things are is that..
I can remember how to sing songs..
And it can stay in my memory..
How wonderful can it be if I can use this ability to note down things happening daily..
I am really very humji..
Nowadays, I can freak out very easily..
And once I freak out, I will tend to mess things up..
Just not long ago, while watching ‘it started with a kiss’ at KM with angel and company..
I got frightened by a scene and I hid behind angel..
Unbelievably dim-witted..
I just made a discovery..
Taiwan dramas likes to let their lead actress to be Libras..
And they will all be featured as brainless, likes to fantasize, slow etc..
We are not totally like that I must say..
Laughing out loud..
hidden secret star
2/20/2006 10:57:00 PM
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Just realized something..
A few regrets..
There were quite a number of opportunities..
But I never made it happen..
Because I could not let go of the one in my heart..
I had never moved on..
Am I silly?
Or should I say I am persistent..
The test that I did said I am someone who dares to love..
True..
I always gave all out to like that person..
But I never ever demanded for anything..
I enjoyed the process through the coincidental happiness I get..
Is it worth it?
Sighs..
hidden secret star
2/14/2006 11:49:00 PM
Monday, February 13, 2006
After I swore that he is no longer in my heart..
He was the first person I saw the next day..
He initiate the greeting..
Surprised..
Veron warned me..
Don't drink to much..
Puzzled..
Qamarul’s 21st Birthday Party at China Black
I could not believe I went without my sisters..
But overall it was fun..
With Kenny, Jo, Boon from BF13..
Ameer, Dorence, JinYong, Sheena from SC..
Ariel, Nana, Merl, Michelle, Huien, Jinsiong’s company..
Played the usual..
Drank..
Wasn’t suppose to lose since there are so many newbie..
But as usual..
Anyway, left early..
He was the last person I saw that day..
At the station..
What a coincidence..
God is making fun of me..
hidden secret star
2/13/2006 12:01:00 AM
Thursday, February 09, 2006
I hereby announce that he is officially dead in my heart..
I read back all my posts about him..
I recapped all my memories about him..
All of them just makes my heart sink even faster..
Drowning me in disappointment..
Today I load everything off my shoulders..
And discard them all so that I can run away with ease..
CHEERS!!
hidden secret star
2/09/2006 11:28:00 PM
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Familiar stranger..
That is what he is to me..
Any more feelings for him..
I am still wondering myself..
But now when I see him with another girl..
I will just look somewhere else..
Numb I guess..
The only thing I am STILL disappointed about is why is he so cold towards me when I just want to be forevermore FRIENDS..
Never mind..
DEAD..
I am more concerned about my friends now..
Whether they are happy or not..
I can always feel the wretchedness in them..
And sometimes it just urge me to hug them or to do something for them..
But sad to say I never did..
Because I am vulnerable..
Groans..
hidden secret star
2/08/2006 09:53:00 PM
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
I have Thyromegaly..
No need to take medication..
5th April will finalize whether I should go through laser or operation at the throat area..
That means I may lose my voice..
Though not completely..
But to think of my vocal will change when I sing just makes me cheerless..
Finally I have some thing to be happy about..
Though it’s none of my business..
But I am still happy for you..
Drinking session at Kenny’s house..
Beginning was quite lucky at bing bang boom and in between..
Was worried for ling cos she cannot drink..
Then when everyone’s gone except for tong liang, von, lia, qiang and me..
The ‘in between’ got us mostly killed..
[For me, it’s when stupid tong liang sabotaged me with the half glass of whisky]
Then more people joined in the game..
[This time round, Kenny’s turn to offer me two cans of beer]
In total think I drank one cup of whisky and one can of beer..
12 midnight, everyone K.O except for a few..
Saw things..
First time Mad talk to me in such a gentle tone..
I fell of the bed..
Mad snatched my beer away from me..
I hid in the balcony..
Mad came to coax me back to the room..
I fell to the ground..
Jack helped me to bed..
I walked around talking nonsense..
I could not sleep at all..
Mad, ling and gel pat me to sleep..
Helped Jack when he vomited..
I SEE NO EVIL..
Headache..
hidden secret star
2/07/2006 11:16:00 PM
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Okay my drama life continues..
As it seized away the smile on my face once again..
I was trying to enjoy my life..
With all the wonderful plans I have for my holiday..
Just in time to do some activities..
[Ton-ing, Drinking session, K box, shopping for gifts]
Before that dreadful Friday comes..
When I will get my medical report..
Today, I was super enthusiastic at work..
My mum suddenly SMS me..
Ask me to quit my job..
Puzzled..
After work my sis called me..
The doctor called my dad..
[Sounds serious]
I need to see my report on Monday instead..
All my activities
MUST be cancelled if it turns out bad..
What the..
In deep thoughts on the train..
Thinking of the wonderful things that I have not done and not done enough..
I don’t want to ceased my youth like that..
Sometimes I really hate to accept and surrender to fate or destiny..
But I need to admit to some truth..
My health has not been the same anymore..
hidden secret star
2/05/2006 12:11:00 AM
